Interview: Black Women and Sexual Assault. The Silence Must End.
It is well documented that black women are experiencing a high level of intimate partner violence and are less likely to report. There are historical reasons for the latter. ranging from historically unequal treatment in the criminal justice system to a systemic cultural attitude that black women need to “protect” our men and not give ammunition to the broader society. “Hyper-sexualized” views of black women have been around for centuries. There is no basis in truth for these views, but our country’s legacy of slavery continues to influence actions today that keep black women in the unacceptable position of staying silent in the face of abuse or rape.
I continue my discussion with Dr. Shani Glaudé, a psychologist in private practice in the Greater DC area. Dr. Glaudé is a black female therapist treating a high percentage of patients who are women of color.
You can read other excerpts from Dr. Glaudé at https://lifeafterabusepod.com/blog/interview-dr-shani-glaud
Have you seen different cultural dynamics with your patients of color who have been victims of sexual abuse or assault?
“Anytime I say anything about a general group, we understand that it's going to vary from family to family. But I will say women of color are sexually assaulted more than [the general population]. Women of color are known to be assaulted more frequently and more intensely.”
“I think overall there's a minimization about trauma in the community. I think it [assault] is [viewed as] a part of life. It's something we need to hustle through. ‘Too blessed to be stressed.’ All of this stuff that we say to each other and it doesn't give justice to how traumatic and lifelong some of these impacts can be.”
“Historically we've normalized violence against women. We [black women] have been in that position where we're over-sexualized and there are few consequences for this type of behavior. The impact of it is generational.”
“It’s almost like women are responsible. Women of color, are responsible for the sexual urges and impulses of men in some way.”
Why don’t black victims speak up?
“There's a lot of shame in our [Black] culture. There is a lot of mistrust in talking to medical professionals, law enforcement and mental health professionals. There is a huge disconnect between our community and these professions because historically [they] have not served us well. We have not always been protected by these fields. So we are less likely to report.”
“Within the community, there is a ‘don't tell nobody your business’ kind of dynamic. You don't share these things. You don't talk about these things. The sad truth is that a lot of this sexual abuse happens with people who are in your home.”
“I see victims protecting their system, protecting their family, not sharing these things because it was the uncle, and the uncle and aunt had been married for years and nobody wants to disrupt that, or it was the father and they don't want to hurt their mother by telling them about their father. So you have a lot of the systemic [pressure to] protect our community and so we don't share.”
“And then….They’re [victim] not believed. They will share it with someone and the line of questioning that happens after that is: ‘What did you do? What message did you send? Are you lying? Do you just want attention? Why are you doing this?’ I've heard family members say this to their children who were just abused and that is the part that I think upsets me the most.”
Are there pockets of safety within the black community? At my church (RenewLA) in Los Angeles, there are several groups devoted to helping women who have suffered abuse or assault. The Pastor (Dihan Lee) is committed to healing, and as a multi-ethnic church, women of color have access to these support groups.
“Low levels of it. My church [has reached] to the church community of clinicians when there are sermons that are coming out [on sexual abuse]. Our current pastor has talked a lot about abuse and incest and he wants to get into these subjects.”
“I think that there's always going to be a level of risk and courage in doing that because this secrecy is so embedded in the black community. We have a hard time talking about it. We don't know how to talk about it because we don't like to be exposed.”
“We're never gonna be able to disrupt the whole toxic culture around this and affect change without blowing it up.”
LAA Note: Dr. Glaude and I both used the term “blowing it up”. We refer to the need to get rid of all of the bad ideas about WHY assault happens and the structures that keep them in place. We both agree that we need a “revolution” in how we are managing the abuse of women in our society and especially in the black American community.
What can people in leadership positions do to help advance this dialogue within the black community?
“I think anyone in a leadership position needs to be addressing these things. When you're in a position to lead, a position of influence, it's your responsibility to address the things that are happening to your flock.”
“You can't play it safe when it comes to these topics. This is too important [and] too much of it [has been] going on for way too long.”
“And now when I say leader, I mean anybody with a voice and an audience. With social media, that really could be anybody, but we have to be responsible [with] what we're saying to people. Sensitive and educated about it, vested in it.
Rape Crisis Centers are often the first point of engagement for a victim. Is this true for women of color?
“I would love for it [first point of contact] to be a crisis center, but a lot of people go onto the Internet. I see a lot of people going onto the Internet before they even go to a friend or a family member. They'll Google things or they'll Instagram it.”
“My gut tells me that on the end of that phone, it's less likely statistically to be a black woman or Woman of Color. And you know, there's maybe one Latina who knows somebody who can speak Spanish, but then you have a whole range of other women of color that may not have that [English] language capability. Getting voices out, creating these sort of safe spaces is critical."
What is the benefit of psychological therapy for a victim?
“It's our responsibility to figure out what we're going to do with all that pain and what we're going to do with that experience.”
“Our minds have been a very clever way of trying to protect us. Isolation from a clinician's point of view is self-destructive, but from a traumatized brain's point of view, it's protecting. I'm [the therapist] is looking at it as ‘you need people, you need safe people, but you need people”. But the brain is saying, ‘People hurt you. You don't need people. All you need is yourself. You know, you know you're not gonna hurt you, but you don't know if they're going to hurt you’.”
“They [patient] need a corrective experience with people at that point. And you can't get that in isolation.”
“Doing it by ourselves is challenging. It doesn't necessarily give us the corrective experience we need with people and we need the break of having to sort it out all on our own. Your mind is working all day, every day to cope with this all day. You can have real cognitive burnout from that.
“You could be sitting on the couch all day and be tired from all the work you're doing in your mind to make sense of this thing that has happened. Nobody should have to do that by themselves.”
How do sexual abuse and assault trauma patients present to your practice?
They’re shy, they don't want to talk. They present anxious. Sometimes there are self-harming behaviors. Sometimes it's severe depression. Sometimes they're mistrustful.”
“There's a feeling of shame there.”
“In the beginning they might be temperature checking a little bit, trying to feel you out. I try to help develop a trusting relationship by saying ‘in this room, you have power. We will work at your pace. I will meet you where you are.’ It's a voluntary experience. Unlike their trauma you give consent.”
What should the victim’s support system know in the immediate aftermath of an assault?
“The family needs support in how to process [the assault]. There [are] support groups [and] there are treatments that involve the family.”
“Be careful. Families sometimes [are] the first test of how the world is going to receive this information once it's shared.”
“The first person they tell carries a lot of weight and that might seem unfair for the person hearing it because it's a grieving process for the survivor and the person being told. It’s like, ‘Oh my God’. Some people get very paralyzed by it [the information] and some people get very reactive to it. And that could put off the person [victim] from wanting to share if it [the information] is too intense.”
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NEXT STEPS:
Lend your support to women who are being abused or who have been assaulted. Create a NO SHAME zone so that victims can have psychological safety.
Encourage abused women to seek psychological counseling and help them find resources in their area if they are unable to do so. Identify culturally sensitive counselors.
Reach out to your local schools and community groups (including religious organizations) to speak up about gender-based violence.
References:
https://www.law.georgetown.edu/poverty-inequality-center/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2017/08/girlhood-interrupted.pdf
https://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=pbdetail&iid=6427
https://now.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Black-Women-and-Sexual-Violence-6.pdf
https://vawnet.org/material/sexual-violence-lives-african-american-women-risk-response-and-resilience
